


Playtime

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: A hint of drugs, M/M, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-31
Updated: 2012-05-31
Packaged: 2017-11-06 09:05:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/417136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave finds a timeline which beautifully portraits the universe's fucked up sense of humour</p>
            </blockquote>





	Playtime

Imagine a professor being the knight of time.  
He would use it for education, for the greater good, he would have managed to change the world...!  
Dave Strider, however, used it as a toy to entertain him when he was bored or a way to escape his real life.  
Right now he was just really fucking bored.  
With a moan he threw the controller back at the table, where it proceeded to scoot across the surface and land on the floor with a clatter, as if to protest.  
"Fuck you." Dave said.  
The controller had no legit argument and decided to remain silent.  
The flat screen TV were buzzing, the image of a skater impaled by a pole was twitching and going white, forever glitching.  
"Fuck you." Dave repeated.  
The screen was probably very offended, but we may never know.  
Banging his head several times against the plushy rump he used as a neck pillow at the moment, Dave decided it was time to stop talking to inanimate objects, and rather find something to do before the objects started talking back.  
So he closed his eyes and jumped.

It's nearly impossible to describe what he did. He just did, he just jumped in time as if he had never done anything else in his lifetime.  
For a moment, just a split second, he was in a foreign landscape.  
He couldn’t see this place. Well, he had never tried opening his eyes while jumping, but he was pretty certain he wouldn't see anything if he did.  
It felt, however, somewhat like an endless ocean. Deep, threatening, dangerously dark, and with a thousand small ships sailing across.  
Timelines.  
An endless number of timelines just casually drifting on this giant, dark beast that was time, some of them floating wrecked around like corpses. Some of them had sunk naturally and were to be found at the bottom of this sea, but Dave had promised himself to never even considering visiting those things.   
They were halfway digested by the ocean, and the remains had become the homes of the creatures that lived down there...  
No.  
Instead he jumped randomly over to a bypassing timeline, eyes closed as always.  
And when he opened them he was back in his living room.  
The first thing he noticed was the smell. A truly disgusting smell, like someone had vomited perfume and shit roses, something so extremely horrible he was close to throwing up.  
Mixed with something sweet, almost dusty. A little like an old lady.  
Dave gagged and smashed his hands in front of his face, covering both nose and mouth in an effort to keep those last slices of pizza down.  
"Fuck..." He murmured, getting up and staggering over to a window to open it and try to get some clean air, only to find it barricaded from the inside.  
His first thought was the zombie apocalypse.  
A timeline where the dead had risen would explain the smell of rotting corpse so extremely present in the air, and honestly, the thought thrilled him! Time to be badass, just like the endless movies and games he had gone trough! Oh, he knew people who would be SO jealous of him...!  
But, as his stomach started churning and moaning, making him gag again, his high spirits got shot down.  
He needed to get out, he needed to get out, oh dear god he was going to choke...  
"Hey yo! Anyone?" He called, and was left without an answer.  
The front door was locked with at least a gazillion locks and most of them had simply been melted, forged into the wood as an extreme safety measure. The white paint was chipped away in great slashes, as if someone had clawed their fingers off in an effort to get out...  
He couldn’t hold it any more.  
He bent over and puked, the smell barely noticeable compared to the stinking in the rest of the room.  
Wiping his mouth with his sleeve he staggered over to the stairs, surprised to find that barricaded as well, this time by several layers of cloth that were sticking to the walls with help of... Bubblegum?  
Yeah. The small, pink clots of dried gum either stayed at the wall or fell to the ground as he ripped the soft barricade down and entered the second floor.  
The smell weakened instantly.  
Actually, this place looked a fair share like his own. Nothing seemed changed in particular, and his curiosity sparked, Dave decided to enter his own bedroom.  
... Or not.  
It was locked too. Not as extremely as the front door, but firmly secured anyway.  
He didn't have time for this.  
He kicked the door for good measure, and to his great surprise the lock jumped out of it's track and allowed him to enter without further problems.  
And he did.  
He literally moaned in relief and closed the door behind him, inhaling deeply of the new air, silently thanking every greater force that might hear him.  
Underneath the roof a hazy carpet of grey smoke drifted, smelling so wonderfully of heated wood and dark chocolate... Holy hell what a pleasure it was, even if it was heavy and made him cough a little.  
He slid against the door, inhaling so much of it his head went spinning and his eyes watered.  
… And it wasn't before it started feeling good he realized this smoke might be something more suspicious than incense.  
He got up, a strange kind of calm settling in his body, making it hard to pay attention or worry about anything. He didn't mind at all.  
He slowly started walking, staggering forward, not noticing a quick shadow removing itself from the bed.   
He didn't react when the same shadow flashed so fast by his face some of his hair moved.  
He did, however, react when said flashstepping figure pounced on his back and made him faceplant into the floor.

"My my, who do we have here~?" a disturbingly familiar voice asked. It was high-pitched and melodious, and the fact that he slowly recognized it as his own disturbed him greatly.  
"Wait, who?"  
"Who what~?"  
"Who are you.  
"Knock knock!"  
"... Who's there?"  
"I hate knock-knock jokes." The voice concluded after about a minute trying to remember what came next.  
Dave found himself being flipped over.  
"HOLY FU-"  
The voice, which now had a face, put his hand in front of Dave's mouth.  
"Shh." The trickster mode Dave said, his pink lips splitting in a grin.  
"I want to speak first! Hey Davey, glad you could visit me~ I would visit YOU first, but you were so generous you broke down my door... Bitch."  
He didn't sound happy at all.  
His minty green hair fell in front of his face, sending a strong waft of kid's shampoo and cherry into Dave's face.  
"Uh... Sorry, dog."  
Oh, no no! It's fine! I mean, I'm sure just about anyone could just break into my bedroom, not like I'm ever doing anything important! No, no no, this is delightful."  
Oh, the trickster was definitely not happy. With a the same sick grin on his face he laid down on Dave's stomach, his elbows on either side of Dave's face, looking down at him with a vicious sparkle in the pink eyes.  
"Sooo, how are you doing?" He asked.  
Dave took a moment to answer, the suspicious smoke making him very slow, but very okay with that.  
"I'm... Uuh, I'm pretty motherfucking chill at the moment."  
"Tee hee, I bet you are!"  
"... Tee hee?"  
"Hee hee hee! Hee haa hoo!"  
"Heh... Hehehe..."  
"TEE HEE HEE!"  
"Hehehe..."  
"Okay, this is very silly~" Trickster Dave giggled, seemingly in a much better mood already. He bent down until their foreheads met and stared.  
"... You know, Davey, I think you should repay me."  
"Whaaa...? I owe you something?"  
"Yeah!"  
"... From what."  
"You DID break into my bedroom. And since you didn't transportalize in, I bet you tore down my awesome protection against the smell!"  
"... Uh... Oh shit, the rags and the gum?"  
"So you DID tear it down! Oh boy do you owe me something!"  
"... Yeah. I guess. Sorry about that shit..."  
"Oh that is not anywhere near good enough!"  
"So, uh... What do you want?"  
The trickster grinned if possible even wider, sitting up and dragging Dave with him, ending up sitting on Dave's lap. He leaned in very close, and when he spoke, his lips brushed against Dave's ear.  
"... Let's play~"


End file.
